When Kellen turned 3, he was phased out of Early On. Because he was 3 and their intervention ability stopped, they recommended ECSE (Early Childhood Special Education) as the next step for Kellen. However, Dave and I did not feel comfortable taking this step. The nearest ECSE program was at Blair Elementary. He would have to get on the bus and off the bus at daycare. This was a terrifying thought for us, especially given that fact that he was nonverbal. I also hated that by getting on and off the bus at daycare, we had no immediate connection to the school. It wasn't like he was going to be able to tell us about his day... so how would be stay tuned in? We also loved our daycare provider and felt he was in the absolute best hands there. So, we kept in in daycare and just did speech outside of daycare. The fall he was 3 and a half, we had to make a similar decision. Again, we were encouraged to send him to ECSE, again, we had the same concerns that we had had in January. So we opted to keep him in daycare for one more year and continue with private therapy and pull out therapy at his home school in TC.
However, now, it's time. He is 4 and needs to be in a preschool program. We really struggled with what the best decision was. We had essentially 3 options. 1- ECSE. He would still have to bus and it would still be at Blair. 2- Silver Lake, his home school. We actually really planned on option 2 for most of his life. It was his neighborhood school and Gigi was there as a connection. However, with her passing away, this seemed like less of a certain choice. There were some great reasons to send him to Silver Lake. Friendships nearby and after school activities easy to attend were big ones. Yet, he would have to attend before school care and after school care. 3- Glen Lake with me. I think a part of me was hesitant on this option only because I was afraid of the ability to disconnect from teacher to mom, which I knew I was going to have to do. I am a total people pleaser and non-confrontational, yet I knew through our experiences so far, it was very likely I was going to have to "raise my voice" and advocate for Kellen. We talked a lot about the best choice for Kellen and it always came back to Glen Lake. While he is saying some two word expressions, he is still using quite a lot of approximations and still hard for most to understand. I love the SLP at our school and I know she will do wonders with him. The biggest reason we have opted for Glen Lake though is just because I will be right there. I can touch base with his teachers/therapists daily as needed. This means they can tell me hey, we played with blocks today and I can then talk about it with him at home (even though he is limited in what he can share). That home to school carryover is so huge and so important. It also means that his teachers and therapists can seek me out if they're hearing/seeing things they don't understand. So many of his approximations are things Dave and I are used to hearing-- we forget they're not always as recognizable to others.
I have lost more sleep than I can to acknowledge over this decision. I am terrified of how it will be. What if kids don't talk to him or get him? What if kids are mean to him but he can't say anything back? What if he is teased? What if something bad happens but he doesn't have the ability to tell anyone? What if he's scared? What if we're making the wrong decision?
Ugh. I KNOW he'll be okay. I KNOW that by being at Glen Lake, with me, I have the ability to help fix or eliminate some of those fears... but it doesn't stop the fear none-the-less.
Here we go though, a few more weeks, and our boy is off to Glen Lake Preschool!
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